...Than Re-Live My Past (Part 1)

May 21, 2006
"I told Jesse that I cheated on him. He went all psycho and said that he's taking a bunch sleeping/pain pills."

We had such a healthy relationship. Isn't it obvious? At that point he had cheated on me numerous times. Well, I guess it wasn't real cheating. Since he made it up!!! Anyways, he had the balls to get all melodramatic when I confessed my infidelity, which I don't even remember now, so it must have been pretty minor. He put me through that kind of shit a lot, and now it's just another item on the list of reasons why I hate him.

May 21, 2007
"I told Josh to call me tonight. I tried to call him yesterday but his home phone is fucked and his cell gets no reception at his house. He tried to call from his computer but I couldn't hear him. He said I sounded do-able. He's so cute. I love talking to him. He's so smart, funny, and interesting."

This was at the height of my infatuation with him. When you have his attention, and he's talking to you, you feel special. It started to fade a couple of months later because nothing physical had happened, a requirement to stay on Josh's radar. There are times when I really miss how we used to talk, mostly when I'm reading through old diary entries, but I think the longing is more about how he made me feel, not who he is.

I can't believe those were the only two entries I could come up with for this day, especially since I went through seven diaries. Oh well, here's hoping future installments will be better.

I Would Rather Sleep Forever...Than Re-Live My Past